There were some good things that happened in my childhood. One of them was Halloween. My mom would make our costumes and our dad would walk us around the neighborhood with the pillowcases we used for loot. Our dad would put a flashlight under his face and make scary faces and we’d all laugh. There … Halloween
Ten or more years ago, I was laid off from a job. It was my first job in my new career. It paid ok, but the working conditions were less than ideal. I was an exempt employee and I had a series of managers who were not the best. One, in particular, was highly toxic. … Long, slow build-up of anxiety over many years
I have been reading this article over and over again, about how trauma is not lazy. I keep re-reading it because I have always thought I was lazy. I was told I was lazy and that I was an underachiever. Since I was told this by parents and teachers, it had to be correct. I … Overwhelm and feeling lazy
Grief at the loss of a pet is unlike any other kind of grief. It’s uncolored by resentment, hate, or anger (at least at the pet). Instead, it’s centered on the incredible loss of an unconditional friend. Pets are important people. They’re special people. They’re not human people, but they are people. They come into … Grief at the loss of a pet
Someone posted a thread on Reddit, today, and it was pretty relevant to something new I’ve been experiencing, lately. I didn’t realize it was going to provoke a blog post, but it did, so here we are. Making new friends and acquaintances I am in the process of making a new friend. We have a … Building new friendships
My father died several years ago after a protracted bout of cancer. We had had a relationship, of sorts, for several decades, after I’d reached out to him when I left my mother’s house. Our relationship mostly consisted of text messages and the occasional phone call. I would periodically visit his city (and him), but … Grief, anger, and resentment
My mother was a teacher. She was also highly invested in other people’s perceptions of her through their experiences of her children. This is pretty common among parents of people who grow up with CPTSD. Since she was so heavily invested in other people’s perceptions of her through their experiences of her children, she had … Underachievement, failure, and not living up to your potential
One of the things we, as the abused, eventually have to deal with when we get older is that when we make choices meant to preserve our own mental health, those choices have real consequences for others in our lives. Often, the best choice for us is to cut off contact with our families of … Being the one who abandoned
I’ve been roiled up a lot, internally, lately. I’ve not really had much time to think about why, but Wednesday morning, I was putting together some kits in preparation for sales, and since it’s not a task that requires more than a minimum of mental energy, once I’ve gotten everything organized and laid out in … Feelings of abandonment
I’ve always been an emotional and empathetic person. I’ve always, as far as I can remember, been able to intuit what others might be feeling, been able to put myself in someone else’s shoes. The effect of this is I tear up at the drop of a hat. I sad cry, I happy cry, I … Crying, or not